I developed a drinking game for WoW. Everytime I die, I take a shot.
Please get laid.
sorry for covering your dog in whipped cream. his bark made it sound like he wanted it.
I just got a Community College debit card in the mail. My failure has been materialized.
I'm drinking vodka out of a coffee pot. and i'm not even mad about it
Hes flirting with her via the sauce packets at taco bell....... I have no words
No. I want to vom filet mignon and ziti bits everywhere and my body feels like I ran a cock triathalon. I feel less triumphant and more like death.
in other news i'm homewrecking via instagram
I slipped on a piece of pizza last night and when the bouncer helped me up I told him the garbage can pushed me.
Okay so.. What's with me and guys who have more than 2 nipples
Walking into class right now and I swear to god I smoked down the substitute teacher we have at a party I went to last week
Just thought of the perfect gift for mom.... how about not telling her about my fourth open intoxicant ticket I got last night?
I'm pretty sure his cum gave me swimmer's ear.
What the fuck happened last night.... I woke up with a bowl half full of ravioli next to my head, reversed on my bed still fully clothed.....
I think that's the first time I had "ass rimming" scroll across my phone at work
It began the way the best stories do—with some naïve jackasses in a place they had no business being at.
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