Call me when you're up
Great dream, you were in it
Im in the beachers at wrigley listening to four lesbians debate the pros and cons of 2girls1cup. Success.
and then when she swallowed her birth control with a shot of vodka and looked in my direction, i knew it was time to go.
UD be completely fine. you don't lose control just keep a positive environment. for example i really want to lick the wall cause red is delicious but i don't have to.
I was hoping we just happened to wake up naked and I hadn't fucked him.... no such luck.
Did you ever get our sex tape out of the rental car before you returned it?
He gets creativity points for the hot sauce. But it may be awhile until my nipples forgive him
As his dick went in he shouted GOAL at the top of his voice.
Today is going to be the longest game of "was that a fart, or do I need to go wipe?" I have ever played. Maybe the most challenging too.
my star wars tattoo got me laid last night. definitely a dark side sort of benefit im thinking
You were drunk enough to sled down a highway off ramp in your pajamas….
Happy anniversary, did you sign and mail in the divorce papers yet?
Just let me pee on you and I'll leave you alone.
My new plan is to whip out my titties when they arrive. Maybe they won’t notice that I broke the couch fucking my boss...
Get ready for me I'm full of tequila and I want to be full of you next
Randomize
