the star wars geek is hitting on me, and is talking about his lightsaber. need back up NOW
ok think of it like jelly beans. if you can learn to like the licorice ones, youll always have lots of them because no one else wants them. its the same with fat chicks
you ran down to the water at 3am and rolled in the sand and ran around screaming that you were the corn dog monster.
Is it obsessive that I keep picking my crazy sex rug burn scab so it leaves a scar I can remember him by?
Just ran into that guy that tried to take a dump in your pool
Just so you know, your wedding is in the same place I gave my first bj.
Can I come by? I want you to meet my squirrel
I just got a lecture from your coked out sister about the monetary value of Dothraki hair braids. Take her home.
I asked him to help me break in the space ship aka my bed.
Look, I tried but his dick tasted like disappointment.
You are a genius and a whore.
i literally have the attention span of a weasel on steroids, but yeah, i know who you’re talking about.
boys just don't understand what they're missing out on.
he's missing out on my boobs looking marvelous this evening.
I climbed to the top of a stripper pole and touched the ceiling. Accomplishment?
I always want to see you. Honestly my only hesitation is that my ass is still kind of sore from Sunday 🥺
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