I can't get into him, he looks really young. I'd feel like I was blowing the Gerber baby.
It usually only happens when Im really excited. Normally not that fast. You still enjoy it?
we were spooning and you were the big spoon but you insisted that I call you "the ladle"
Yeah, we spent most of the evening making fun of the drunk girl until we realized it was you.
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I swear a good massage is the easiest way in my pants.
Not that there's a hard way... but you know what I mean.
He asked me why my bellybutton was so ugly... and wondered why i wasnt in the mood anymore.
If I send you a picture of the guy passed out in the bath tub, will u be able to identify him?
I hit him with a car. Nothing says I hate you more than backing into someone with a fucking car.
I can trace it back to that drunken night where we peed on each other in the shower.
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My three rules on what I'm wearing tonight. Something short, something see through, and something i had sex in.
Just promise me we won't die tonight. I can't have an autopsy report that reads "stomach contents: Tequila and semen."
Leaving the phone at home last night was the best decision I ever made.... Though I still managed to text her and now I have 2 phones...
I think these people may actually be nudists. You know it's bad when I feel uncomfortable.
Santa tracker drinking game, you in or what?
I think the cashier at 7/11 might be planning an intervention for me.
Randomize