You left a skid on my bar stool!!!!
Oops! Sorry about getting stool on your stool!
You'd think with all the porn he watches he'd be a little better at this...
hahaha my homeschooled cousin put up graduation pictures. it's just her standing in front of her fire place. With a hand made diploma.
apparently 20 random guys watched the process of me being carried on a mattress through the dorms
Mmmhmmm sure, nice try, but there's certain wounds that only bj's can heal
she looks like she scalped a horse for her weave
why the fuck are my pubes caked with bread crumbs?
When you guys came back from the bar, I thought everyone was a T-Rex - Thats why i was hiding under the table. Never doing shrooms with Drunk people again
I didn't get a chance to take any pics but the mental snapshot of her boyfriend calling her directly after we finished was a really special moment I wish I could properly share with you.
Just got tinder matched with my COMM TA. Game on.
I have an important idea to tell you when I'm sober about a cat scratching my nose once and what it taught me. DONT LET ME FORGET.
I have got to move on from this "sleeping with every drug dealer I meet" phase.
The moment when you go to plug in someone else's phone in your car and your lube is in the way. Don't mind that it's just my center console car lube. Normal.
Woke up in the hospital naked with my id's taped to my chest. Also apparently puked on two guys, two girls and an escalade (at the same time). Good night.
They gave my sperm a pep talk after they found out we were trying.to have.a baby.
Randomize
