worse things have happened to me. but if it will make you feel better you can pay for my therapist sessions next week.
i just traded 2 rolls of toilet paper for half a water bottle of vodka. i love college
WHAT IF you could get pizza delivered to you IN YOUR CAR while driving somewhere. Like moving roadside service.
You're High aren't you?
Sooooo high
I just creeped on air mattress guy's facebook and discovered his ex is the trifecta of evil: tiny, cute, and blonde.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
In honor of today being Sunday I am day drinking and watching Grey's Anatomy all day. ALL DAY.
YOU WORK IN THE US CAPITOL! YOU CANNOT HAVE SEX IN THE BATHROOM!!
Dude, you are totally ruining intern season for me...
I take pride in being a married 31 year old who sleeps on her best friend's bathroom floor from time to time.
I'm also sorry that I ate your chicken sandwich while you were throwing up....
Is this what it's like to be an adult? You plan out play dates for your vagina?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
dude, last night I won a real sword and a bottle of vodka in a cards against humanity tournament
taking shots alone in my kitchen before I go learn to give a lapdance. when did this become my life?
I still don’t believe you, the dog DID NOT tear down the shower curtain and shit on the floor.. we found you in the fetal position in the bathroom holding your tequila gun. It was you!
Some mornings I close deals. Other mornings I puke out my window while I’m driving down the highway
no real plans this weekend. trying to derail the alcohol induced fucking hell train I've been riding for the past three weeks.
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
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