So I think we're almost at the age where we should start calling boys men. Now what age do they start living up to the new title?
Most never. Some around 65.
I'm going to but the new Playboy with Chelsea Handler on the cover. I'm pretty sure it's the only time buying a Playboy will make me gayer...
my little brother just told me that I should start chasing my vodka with slim fast. genious.
He cut you off when you said Paula Dean was in your soul...He kicked you out when "Paula" started eating random peoples food
Dude you has no fucking this poptart
What?
I dont know to explain this.
You convinced us both to take shots of jack Daniels through our eyes.
I sat in the bathroom on the counter and gave out advice to all the random people that walked in
She told me she gets scared easily and that I had to protect her. Then I made a condom joke that ended up making her cry... All bad dude
Yes, he did use his cock to direct traffic from my 3rd story window. That's why I love him
It's really funny to see the look on the sales lady's face when she asks why you're replacing a painting. "I knocked it off the wall during sex w/ my heels," wasn't what she expected.
If I don't quit picking up guys when I'm drunk, I'm going to need a vagina transplant.
Sorry about the Christmas balls dude. At the time I thought they were festive as fk but I see now I've just spent too much time on the internet
Let's celebrate our country being screwed by screwing.
What's rude is him not accepting my blowjob offer. What kind of guy denies that.
Im gonna start dry humping the manequins and see if i get fired.
Randomize
