Last night this chick queefed when I was going down on her. Thinking if you! xo
you went around and groping mens pants to see "which was worthy" of you to go home with.
his dick is like his red hair, amazing but useless
thanks for celebrating my birthday so severely 2 years ago. i just found your hospital discharge papers in my closet.
anything for my little brother.
U took a sewing needle to his nipple
Psshh,
Tonight just try not to threaten to pee on the hot guys buying us drinks....please..
I just slammed another champagne, swaggered over to her, pointed across the room at the 20 y/o lacrosse player and whispered loudly, "I brought that one for YOU." I'm getting a raise.
It is a sign that I need a fresh start when Kelly Clarksons new album tells the story of my life.
All I know is that I woke up with my pajamas on inside out in front of a bowl of watered down kd. Sitting up. I didn't even make it to bed.
I found an industrial strength sharpie in the drawer so I started writing BONER JAM 2014 on everyone's foreheads so they kicked me out
I'm not sure of this happened or if it was just a dream... But I vividly remember you walking down the street naked?
No actually I had socks on...
It took him 15 minutes to put the condom on.
I would cock slap so many things if I had a cock.
It's a classy one I promise! Their toilets are cushioned an tier wifi is named hummingbird
We couldn't find her anywhere. Finally, I saw her sitting in my bathroom floor spraying hair mouse into her mouth and whispering "I fucking love whipped cream." WHAT DID YOU GIVE HER AND CAN I HAVE SOME?
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