drinking warm bud heavies i found in the garage and googling how to tell the gosselin kids apart.
Hey its bob the builder. Where did you go?
A 14 year old with a teardrop tattoo just tried to sell me weed. I'm in the wrong fucking neighborhood.
It's sad because pictures are supposed to say a thousand words, and theirs just say 'fat'
Omg!!!! Call me in the morning I just saw A stripper queef out a dollar
well what is some mechanical horse racing with out blow involved
She's drinking vodka out of a windex bottle. She is spraying it in her mouth and at strangers.
We fucked in my trunk while on the clock....what did you do at work today?
He wanted to bang in the work van while we were on shift together. He convinced me with "It's like the Scooby Doo van but looks nothing like the Scooby Doo van."
After the 3rd shot, she was running around singing, "Twinkle Twinkle Big Ol' Dick, on your happy place I'll sit" to your brother.
Put that bitch's torch out. She's been voted off.
It's like rock paper scissors. Cold showers and smoking beat hangovers.
You asked the waitress what the corking fee would be on the Joose you smuggled into the restaurant.
Also, totally got laid in my yellow rubber boots and it was awesome.
It's 9:07 in the morning and I am so hungover right now I'm about to take the kids I'm babysitting to mf'ing Popeyes bc that's all I want in this world
And then I woke you by humping you to Lionel Ritchie.
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