He seems like he has feelings, which is completely unacceptable; esp for a boy in college.
she is like cheap alcohol. you can only get so buzzed before you get sick.
Didn't get laid. But got a free pie from a waitress. A whole pie.
Is YOLO really just a socially acceptable way to say you enjoy putting things up your nose?
100% truth: never tied someone to a bed using 4 pairs of sweatpants before
I may be going to Mexico. I just met a drug dealer at a strip club. Seems legit.
I got unbelievably drunk yesterday, need some time off. Apparently pulling your balls out to make your buddy's girlfriend miss beerpong shots is frowned upon.
You know you're getting old when 19 year olds you've met on tinder advise you that you should start looking for a wife and/or the mother of your children
There is a man in my bed with "new zealand" tattooed on his back. Wtf happened last night?
He sent me a flaccid dick pic from the bathroom at the bar and he said I'm sorry it's not all hard and good looking. Props to him - I did ask for a pic.
So I've already made 5 bad decisions today, wyd?
He took me out to dinner to tell me we had to stop fucking so randomly
Honestly wish he pleased me as much as queso does
But being sober is boring. Everything takes so long, I feel like I'm just waiting in line to die.
Justin has passed out on the toilet in a locked stall. Stay tuned for pics.
You got drunk, made toast, and declared yourself a domestic goddess.
Randomize
