Yea well when i pee it makes steam.
I almost hooked up with this girl last night. she had a tattoo of a cardinal next to her cooter. said it reminded her of her grandpa
..i think i can hear you losing your virginity
I feel like we're taking advantage of the fact that our R.A has cerebal palsey.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it was either a really good one night stand or a really really good first date. thank you online dating
At what point did you think the cops were actually coming to hang out with us
You cant hold me accountable for my actions when im high.
I am a 5'4" ball of sexual frustration and vodka. It is that kind of night.
Now the circle is complete. Just interviewed a guy who was a higher up member of the team I worked for in my job before this place
FOUND: my underwear in the cabinet above the toilet. What the actual fuck.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
guys I just made $20 cause these random south african guys thought I wasn't wearing any underwear
It's like all the guys I keep around if I wanna have sex with all got mad at the same time. I guess I'll get out my vibrator again.
Dude I just clenched/unclenched my hindquarters while looking in the mirror I have fucking talent
He just sprayed AXE in his mouth to get rid of his bad breath... THAT DRUNK
we've dated a week and made out twice. he is taking it slow. but his body is stupid sexy. just want him to stop respecting me and fuck me like a gutter slut. respect me later im not getting younger.
Note to self: I can rip apart her vagina and she'll still cuddle with me, but if I steal her Chapstick she'll murder me !?
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