i was that girl throwing up in the urinal. it was a dark moment in my life.
Luckily my prof thought I was puking from nerves and gave me motivational mini speeches the entire final.
just reminessing about the wedding and were they seriously to tight to serve a meal oorrrrrr was it just another one of my black-out-by-dinner drunks
the fact that you actualy have a 'black-out-by-dinner drunk' is a bit deserving..
My hair is crimped, I am walking with a roadie, and my vibrator is in my purse. I feel sorry for tomorrow.
I snorted a few ambien and woke up here. A lady banged on our door, waking us up, demanding our towels.
I'm sensing a Yuletide blow job in your future and by future I mean tomorrow
I still have beer shits from last weekend. Dying from dysentary is a real threat at this point.
He may not be fully over his current wife yet. But wait until I show him my tits in his office at the end of the day tonight.
Dude, I came home and you were passed out halfway through the front door in your Minnie Mouse outfit... with a beer still in hand
I think i just shit in their garbage can, I'm ready for that ride u owe bro.
She literally took off her shirt and ran out of the bar. When she ran back she smashed into the glass door with her face....That's got to be the best way to celebrate your 30th.
"What's your dick like homie" is not really an acceptable thing to say out loud
She was totally amazed that i had the pizza delivery timed to coincide with our nooner and that the delivery boy knew where the broom closet on the 3rd floor was.
I smell like a brewery and I have been drinking for 7 hours. This seems like a perfect time to tell my husband I want a divorce.
His sisters are going to have a heyday finding all those condoms in their bunk beds.
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