covered in glitter, my cheek hurts, and theres a handprint on my face. Would i do it again. Absolutly
I spilled a beer on myself, so I went back to my place to change. The city marshall was at my door with a warrant. That beer cost me 760 bucks.
She really thought E.D. was a sexually position.
hapi new year, hope this year brings u happiness and lots of sexi people ;)
stop writing like that.
You fed me milk from the beer bong because you thought it would "Sober you up" .
i will be the first lesbian to ever fail women's studies.
My mom just blew pot smoke into my nose and called me a cat.
Also pregame at mine tomorrow?
I don't know... But I do think this is probably the longest series of texts we've written discussing your cock. David was right, it is a brave new world. Also, slow day at work again?
The bald eagles cry cause u drink canadian beer.
I would like to apologize once again for rubbing your thigh with my hands and face for a very long time last night.
I think you're too young for vagina rejuvenation but I guess you have never been one to listen. Sounds good! You bring the Percocet ill bring the vodka!
We will go to karaoke
Okay, well, i'm covered in paint, haven't showered & have already been drinking, so if I fall on the floor in a blaze of depeche mode & beer tears, you can't pretend you don't know me
Gonna play a drinking game called drink til I feel my emotions. The things I do so I can be a therapist
Can i have the words "she went crazy and never came back" written on my grave?
Also I know now I was meant to be a comedian. Had both arresting officers laughing.
Randomize
