I just put lube in Matt's bellybutton. He looks unhappy.
I couldn't tell if he was hitting on me or if he was just mentally challenged.
I had just got her shirt off when I realized that I was about to fuck Chewbacca from Star Wars. The way she moaned confirmed that I was.
SOME GIRL GOT MAGGOTS IN HER COOCH FROM EXPERIMENTING WITH MAYO!
You kept buying everyone Washington apple shots, and telling us we needed to support local produce.
That taco smell coming from your belly button was a huge turnoff
just got double teamed by two guys I will be on beach patrol with this summer. six months until the season starts and I'm already 'that girl.'
Playing basket ball at the park with random people that showed up at 1am. the division of teams is based on what drugs people are on
He stopped responding after the animal pictures... I do this EVERY TIME.
So I've been spending my morning trying to figure out if there's a corealation between Wednesday margarita night and the boat that's now in my living room.
I found a guy who will take me to the Olive Garden and he is CONVENTIONALLY ATTRACTIVE.
I'm the girl holding the bag of goldfish
I wish there was an emoji for sad lady boners
Thus began an intricate shell game of nude cardigan photos
he told me he wanted me to go see his cat. apparently i was more interested in playing with his cat then having sex.
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