Circus confirmed... Jello shots before 9 pm are not cocktails for sucess
I just saw a hobo ride by on a unicycle. Good day.
just upgraded from jello shots to jello bowls blacking out just got that much more delicious
So all semester this guy and girl have been talking, and today is the last class and we are doing nothing. I would have skipped but I want to see if he seals the deal or pusses out. It's like a season finale.
that's not even the weird part though. he already knew where the bathroom was, he might have been here before..
if that blanket by the dog bowl was your dog's "bed" then i apologize to bailey for having sex on it
One thing noone tells you about getting put in the drunk tank is do it barefoot. You get free flipflops.
Ya know, since we do have alot of sex with each other i figure i should wish you a happy valentines day
No he exists. Who else tells me no matter how drunk I am to pull out. He's watching over me so my bastard doesn't get created.
i was enjoying my post acid trip trance a little too much. i found $50 on the sidewalk but didnt pick it up. just stared at the bill cuz it looked cool.
someone picked it up and i stared at the ground where it was for probably another minute or 2
She said she didn't know what fireball was. We are no longer friends.
You kept asking us from the backseat if you were driving ok and then you kept talking to your hiccups and yelling at them to "stop it already!"
Yes, you can go into Petsmart drunk but the cats awaiting adoption don't appreciate the soft pretzels squeezed through their cages.
At the ER. John needs stiches. Fuck pub trivia nights.
I don't remember much, but I remember he called me the dick whisperer, so it must not have been all bad.
Randomize
