you pissed in the sink and didnt realize it until it was time to wash your hands
She refused to give me a hand job while we were watching a war movie saying she didn't wanna disrespect the soldiers
How dare you. Idk what you called me, and neither does google translate, but you better take it back.
I still have a scar from the last time she gave me a handjob. There is NO WAY i'll stick my dick anywhere near her again
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Look if 10 am was too early to go barrel tasting the winery would not be open.
Why is it that every study session with you turns into a hunt for drugs?
8===D
That's the bat signal to come over and fuck me.
No more going to class sober.. Tried it for a day or two, its just not for me
Out of all the things you could eat off of my tits you choose lettuce? Thats so healthy. Yuck.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All I ever do is give guys anxiety problems and flaccid penises.
Woke up on a lawn chair hugging a bottle of vodka. Hows your morning so far?
Why did two squirrels just run out from behind the couch?
About that.
I'm gonna ask his dad. Weed trumps broken heart any day.
you tried to fight the cop who was busting the party, you said you had a constitutional right to do a keg stand...
Complete and utter failure. 100% unsalvageable. I have not failed so hard at a culinary endeavor in YEARS. MY HONOR IS IMPUGNED I HAVE SHAMED MY HOUSE
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