Can the rest of this semester just go by as a montage?
stayed up to watch the sunrise..saw an albino taking shots on the quad..it's like there's a whole new world of people out there just waiting to meet us
What's the second line of that rhyme that starts "Vicodin before scotch...?"
That's the last time I do shots near a campfire.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she's a dental assistant. she can get nitrous. kinda looks like a sloppy bucket of fuck. time to take one for the team. NEED SHOTS STAT!!
Ur gonna wake up early as dick tomorrow to do some responsible shit but im the one up at 3 am right now cooking brats soaked in keystone light so fuck your falling asleep ass bitch
Way to ruin everything
I am drinking jager with a cat, your argument is invalid
My bed smells like stale sex...I want it to smell like fresh sex, I miss you.
the worst part was waking up this morning to his skrillex ringtone.....when was it ever okay for friends to let other friends go home WITH GUYS LIKE THAT!?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Are you considering all the consequences of doing your boss or are you just rationalizing with your vagina?
It's a good thing my liver is flexible because a lesser man would be dead
Dislocated my knee during sex, popped it back in and kept going. Then got simpathy chipotle out of it too.
Got my period and a UTI on the same day. Fuck you, Sunday.
Over Bumbled last night. I think I set my dog up on a date Sunday afternoon. I have to drive him, meet the other dog’s dad and secretly drink a bottle of champagne from a “water bottle”. This is not what I expected 30 to be like.
I just bought a slurpee and condoms. God bless America.
Randomize