At a place where you lie naked on a big pile of pillows and they feed you lobster. You eat it with your bare hands.
Shes in the fridge organizing my beer collection. I love having a girlfriend with OCD
the three of them together have enough kids to fill a barney live audience.
She keeps stunt undies in her bag, 2 sizes too small. She leaves them behind so the guy thinks he was luckier than he was...
Today's face brought to you by last night's make-up.
I just googled if crying burns calories
why oh why did i suck thise tits. nothing but trouble fuuuuuu
dude Steve you don't even know. its just been one hairy asshole after another.
She's the worst person, but the best naked person
WHY IS MY CAR MISSING A DOOR YOU BITCH
budget cuts
YOU CANT BLAME EVERYTHING YOU DO WHILE DRUNK ON BUDGET CUTS
budget cuts are serious business
I received a sext from my girlfriend, and a deal for free chips and guacamole at chipotle at the same time. I have tasted heaven, and it is beautiful.
You are not going to get a pat on the back from me for not fucking that 40 year old again.
I discovered a new stretch mark. DONE. LITERALLY DONE.
Well the term Party is used loosely in this situation. Since it will just be mom wine drunk and us eating chips with multiple dips.
What's your opinion on eating ass? Just looking for a yes or no
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