I think about you every night.
I'm sorry.
My BOSS just pulled out a box of Christmas stuff labeled reefs.
he took his pants off right in front of me then just stood there so i went for his boxers and he said he was waiting till marriage
I don't believe these are real court rooms. They look absolutely nothing like law and order.
Well now I have my semen on her headphones
What is an appropriate "thanks for saving my life" gift? I don't have any experience with this.
I am gifting my birthday sex to you, but its okay because I can always just have birthday vibrator.
THERE IS NOT ENOUGH CAPSLOCK IN THE HISTORY OF THE WORLD TO EXPRESS MY CURRENT STATE OF WHAT THE FUCK JUST HAPPENED
You go to bars with sophisticated older men, I steal lawn ornaments. Priorities
There's a naked man in my car right now.
So I had sex with a hook nosed, lisping masadonian last night.
Glad that degree in literature is paying off. Nice adjectives. Maybe set the bar a little higher though?
My mother is even happier about me having a sugar daddy than I am
I'm only friends with her because I can't stop watching the train wreck.
sending my old camp counselor nudes. childhood memory win or new low?
you put your keys in the fridge so you wouldn't forget your yoohoo
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