Just checked, might have creepy crawlies. What does chlamydia feel like? Not near wireless to consult webMD.
Why dose there have to be another girl there for you to do this?
its hotter. Way hotter.
About me waking up with a tatto of a hamster with a top hat ?
hey.....beach week happens
he just looked at me and whispered "these are my sea lions. my sea lions." and then went back to licking the mirror
it's like heaven, but drunker
I'm really good at handling things like foreskin and speech impediments.
Just received a visit from the Ghost of Bad Decisions Past. Kind of weird 90% of the flashbacks happened in the same sixteen month span, the rest happened at Taco Bell.
hey give me heads up if you're feeling vulnerable tomorrow night
I wish I could just hang out in ERs.
after giving head I just always feel like I need like. ice cream. as both a means of getting the lingering sperm out of my mouth, and a congratulations.
Would it be wrong to text my ex and say "congratulations on the new baby that you had with a stripper"?
They have beer where we have blood.
This morning, I found 5 naked people in Steve's bed with post sex hair, and Steve fully clothed sleeping on the ground.
"Plot twist... I'm straight."
That would involve putting on clothes and I don't think I can face that right now.
Randomize
