so he went down on me and i thought i heard him say "you're smelly" to my vagina
i got awkward and finally asked him what he said
he actually said "you want some dick?" to my vagina. which is worse? either way he's talking to it
I just want to make mistakes. Like stds that go away with antibiotics mistakes.
I don't understand how she could dump me AFTER we had shower sex. I'm fucking great at shower sex
It was a group decision to take your pants off. Took a solid 10 minutes. No more skinny jeans while drinking.
So would it be tacky to offer my services as a future attorney as an engagement gift for her?
Seriously, you can't give someone's wife an orgasm on the dance floor of a gay nightclub and then hang out with her husband the following week
She face-timed me on the toilet. My dick is never going to recover from that.
Right when he asked me if I was on birth control my dad walked in. This is my fate.
Yeah that's a good idea.. I like to be responsible when I trip my nuts off
I think "we've never met sober" is a great relationship to have with someone
eh, I feel I'm heading for a breakdown and I need to get it out of the way before I start writing that lab report.
I'm very impressed by your ability to explain a story about your fiery snatch solely in emojis. props.
just found out that my aunt grows weed. today is a good day to be me.
Woke up on a lawn chair hugging a bottle of vodka. Hows your morning so far?
She was cute in her own little way. Shit, free taco's makes anyone hot.
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