I am about to get in a knife fight over a corn dog.
Only you would think wine and coffee was an acceptable finals study time mix
So much beer in the passenger seat the seatbelt light is blinking
I don't care how drunk you were. Sending me a pic of your dick dressed as Uncle Sam with the caption "I want you" isn't an acceptable pick up line.
Na Im fine, just need to un-grow this vagina I've developed
Also they do not have any come back to america, i miss my fuck buddy cards at Hallmark.
Who gives a hand job to a 19 yr old one night then the next lets a 31 year old random man fly a plane to town and pick u up and take u to dinner?
I had jack at 8 am= instant drunk
I would do everything over again, except the fireball.
We need a hype man... Like a DMX type dude to just up the ante constantly...
He is a sweet angel sent from dick heaven!
In theory, it seemed like it would work.
My car insurance payment showed up today, so no inflatable hot tub for now. Sorry to disappoint.
Lol for real, I'm Kylie Jenner "this is my year of realizing things" right now
I didn't even know his name until he texted me the next day and told me I should take a plan B pill. Thanks Danny.
Randomize
