He’s a liberal pot smoker and perfect for me. He invented a game where we have to smoke a joint every time you hear a Middle Eastern accent on NPR.
i've been fucking this guy since february and just found out he might be uncircumsized. currently google image searching to confirm.
I had no idea a 5'8 girl could fit entirely on her knees in front of the passenger seat of a Sunfire, but I am very happy to now have that knowledge.
What sexual position says im sorry for your loss?
While you wait, fill out your state patrol application. Not trying to be your mom, I just really want to fuck a cop.
Woke up, moved an empty handle of fireball to spit blood, then put the morning cigarette out in it.
I'm high and dancing to practical magic. Your needs for my penis can wait.
Lost feeling in my face, my shoe and had a nose bleed. That's not wings. Fuck red bull.
I emailed the police apartment to apologize to the officer from last night. I practically threw a hissy fit because he wouldn't hug me.
It was "against protocol"
why do you keep saying "she looks like a porn star" like thats a bad thing?
Once again being low on toilet paper is forcing us into another round of our favorite game - toilet paper roulette - where there can only be 1 winner. Maybe.
Can you not touch my dick while I'm holding a gecko?
So, I feel bad. I just told my husband I had sex with someone else while on a business trip. Today is his birthday. I'm kind of a dick.
So not only did I get laid today but I also left with a 42” tv lol
I can't believe the MLB is making the NHL look good.
Randomize
