No, seriously, 1.5 gallons of sangria plus two days of untapped cock. Waiting here. For you.
Game over. He has a paternity test request on his table.
We're gonna take a moment of silence to pray... that his penis is as pretty and as talented as his brothers.
Times like this, when you talk openly about Tinkerbell being your spirit animal, are times when I'm allowed to question your sexuality.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Would I be bad if I bought a pregnancy test at shoppers the same time I hand in a resume? Or do you think it would get me the job?
They had their heads out of the car singing the wrong words to the national anthem as we drove through traffic of people leaving the fireworks. AMURICA
He stumbled into my room, flopped on my bed, shoes on my pillow and asked me for a juice box. Then fell asleep with the juice box on his forehead.
I woke up this morning to my house being turned into a bad European dance club at 8:30am. Do you know what "UNS UNS UNS" sounds like at 8:30am? Murder. It sounds like murder.
Holy shit he's circumcised. His parents must have really loved him.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Smoking a bowl in nothing but a flamingo thong.
ED guy's penis finally worked last night. It was a Festivus miracle!
Did you fill my inhaler with tequila?
Yeah, so?
What are you bringing to class tomorrow?
sorrow
I just woke up with a pair of handcuffs in my pants, can u explain this?
they just got in argument over who had more of your dick pics. quit sending shit to my sisters fucker
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