Can i come over
After you called me a desperate slut? No
Come over
Emee failed...She used my genitals as a tampon
happiness is walking an amphibious rodent on a leash
community service is like the breakfast club... except we're all the criminal.
Sooo, his balls are like... bigger than my head...
I looked him in the face and asked if we could stop. he asked why. I said "I can't feel it.". ...I feel bad; I should have faked.
She told me to "stuff her hole like a build-a-bear". I was so drunk I didn't even think that was weird.
it wasn't the penis i had been hoping for.....but i took it regardless.
She literally called herself a shamefully bad decision. Of course I slept with her. Best bad decision ever
I got woken up by a construction worker, turns out I was laying in a hallway, naked and wrapped in a matress pad. To answer your question no, I did not study for this test I got David Hasselhoff drunk
sorry
why?
oh you didn't look in the living room yet, did you?
If you walk into a place and someone says "happy birthday" while handing you a shot. You. Take. It.
Woke up with an entire pizza face down in my bed beside me... untouched. Never beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
A lady played my boobs as if they were drums. It's been that kinda night.
So then I got so stoned I sat and took my pulse for 10 minutes.
Randomize
