I am in a vortex of obligation.
take 3 tylenol pm's and try playing basketball.
Believe it's possible to jerk off while watching the food network.
The last shot i remember taking was toasted to "love, sex, and magic". Needless to say I was 0 for 3 on that toast for the night.
there were at least 5 of us standing around the bathroom stall cheering you on to throw up.
Its a good thing the lights were off cuz Im pretty sure the look on my face when I touched his penis would have offended him
She said "don't make this weird" and then proceeded to sniff me.
they were fucking between cars in the parking lot and everyone was cheering at them.
Leave it to us to have a family reunion in a bar bathroom
I would let Bear Grills repel down a waterfall using my dick if I could go to sleep right now.
The only thing you accomplished yesterday was dry humping me on the floor of my work place WHILE I was working.
We're looking for the removeable roof from her Miata. Winner gets a 40.
You still owe me a blowjob for knowing more about hurricanes than you.
I'm disease and pregnancy free. This is an Easter for the books!
Saw two pregnant women at court today and I SWEAR one of them said "we had a threesome with this random guy and he got both of us pregnant."
Randomize
