You taught me that having a dip while u shit is awesome. I appreciate u for that
after the first, "yea you like that baby", i quickly remembered why i had stopped having sex with him.
Just heard this lady walk by on her phone saying "did everyone orgasm?"
All you kept saying was "my dick ALWAYS causes problems".
Just mixed vicodin and mucinex. This cold just got fun.
I honestly didn't see the problem playing beer pong In the car on the road trip home.
doing a walk of shame covered in blue food coloring is only embarrassing if you make it embarrassing...actually no its embarrassing on all accounts
Thanks for bailing me out last night guys. it's bullshit that everbeering people at bars is illegal. bitches have no sense of adventure anymore
Just had the best random sex ever with a girl I picked up from a pro choice rally uptown. God bless the Democratic National Convention.
Already at the river; already getting fucked up. And yes that semicolon is legit because those are congruent statemests
I cannot even describe to you the most amazing ass I have ever had the pleasure of seeing walk up the stairs in front of me just now.
I remember you fighting a small man for the last of the pizza. Was there a midget in my house last night?
JUST BECAUSE I LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED DOESNT MEAN IM GOING TO LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED AT WORK
I woke up naked buried in snacks. Best night ever.
The guy who said he's gonna suck your butthole till your face caves in is at Maggie's
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