ok i said sorry. what else do you want?
100 blowjobs
Take 3 tylenol pms and try to whack off before you pass out. It's impossible.
So how gross is it that Woopie Goldberg has a vagina? She's like the exact opposite of a boner....
mmm whisky
reminds me of losing my job
I cant believe that bitch gave me herpes. she said those bumps were just a part of the natural landscape
wait, did she really refer to her vagina as a landscape?
why are you more concerned about her word choice than the fact that I HAVE FUCKING HERPES
week 6 of class: i have yet to go to spanish sober. i love being THAT girl.
Cuz its complicated and I hate complicated and I miss your penis
Oh boy...do i want the 'something you can tell your mom in 10 yrs' version or the 'Im gonna call you a whore but be proud' version?
Inquiring minds want to know if your Bf is circumcised
It looked like his dick was wearing an argyle sweater.
it's taken me 3 hours to eat this pudding cup. I think I am melting.
Locals got pissed I was talking to the barmaid. Tried to tell me that they keep all the good beer at "a Soho walkup" Google saved me
The Uber driver took us to a Waffle House. We didn't even say anything when we got in. MAGIC.
His dick is magical but I don't want to die in this blizzard do you see my dilemma
I'm too drunk to make ramen. What the fuck is this.
Randomize
