bahahaha. this guy working at subway literally has someone's name tattooed on his arm, crossed out, and another name below it.
idk, i just don't think periods are something you can catch in a little cup.
his status popped up and said 'probably going to jail.' it took everything i had not to press the like button
States back in the final four. Now our sunday night drinking has purpose. Sparty on baby.
just when i thought i had forgotten how badthe sex was he comes across campus solely to say hi
Well he has a girlfriend. So I told him that I wanted to have sex way more than I wanted to be a decent human being.
I'm so confused. I feel like I just intentionally took roofies to see where I'd end up.
I did coke with the Royal Navy last night. God save the queen.
You called me into the kitchen so you could show me that you were peeing in the kitchen sink and then told me to leave bc you couldn't do it with me watching
Did she seriously come back inside just to piss on the kitchen floor?
I thought accidentally shaving off my fingertip while trying to shave my butthole was going to be the most unexpected part of my day, but no
Here's the thing. Kinda drunk. Eating leftover soup. In bed. Watching Disney channel.
Basically we had a threesome in one room and a fivesome in the next room. Its what I like to call a win win situation.
How did the test come back?
I've never been so happy to have a yeast infection. And i got a free pack of birth control
My husband is waiting until son is napping and air humps as a seduction tactic. Pray for me.
Randomize
