i checked my sent messages this morning and i had apparently tried to text the bar, saying "idk what i drank, do you?"
She has her iPod in her ears slippers and sweats on and is walking around the house up and down the stairs getting "exercise" she just stopped for a water break
I don't know if its because i'm stoned or what but painting my kitchen yellow makes it look crooked
If i pass out for a while at graduation, please atleast TRY to wake me?
Someones grandma was rubbing my back. I'm way too high for this.
VODKAVODKAVODKAYESSSS
Yeah to go race car driving with a 54 yr old gastroenterologist. I really wish you'd come to have that drink with me Wednesday
Me too, I feel like I pinched your nipples excessively. At the time it seemed like a good idea, but in retrospect I'm not so sure.
He won't have sex to beyonce. I hate him.
as much as I don't like snorting drugs, I would totally be fine with someone doing a line off my ass. that's just a whole new up
My vagina needs a break, I had to ice it with a beer bottle last night.
I'm not trying to take your husband away from you, but can we have another 3way soon? I'm just desperate for good dick.
So your telling me I can lick your ass but you CAN'T spend my money
I'm wearing jeans from 7th grade and drinking a fucking macchiato. This better be a good day.
I tried to breakup with him by telling I had a threesome. He one upped me by saying he had a 5-some so I couldn’t do it.
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