I just told my doc I would like to talk about my drinking problem, but that it would probably get in the way of my weekend plans.
his penis is like a homeless cat. ever since I've satisfied him he keeps showing up on my doorstep ask for more.
if my college career had corporate sponsors, they would be natty light and aim toothpaste.
I just ran from Santa Claus in Kroger
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its a saturday night. im home alone watching legally blonde, eating week old birthday cake and drinking milk out of the carton. so yeah im doing real well
Changed my mind. Wearing a dress. Casual, with a side of breasts.
The twins are whispering in turkish together. I think I did something bad last night.
My leg won't stop wagging. It's like it's congratulating my vagina.
I just beer bonged. Soco and spite please get on my levvl my hair is in buns
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's like a party bus, but there's a glass, airtight wall separating the driver from the passengers, and once everyone's on, they pump vaporized THC into the cabin.
Pretty sure that molly fried my sinus infection away; i regret nothing
Dressing as mugato from zoolander Halloween you may want to be the hand model. We can get you a fish bowl filled with Clementine Vodka and soda you can put your hand in.
The dog just shocked himself by peeing on Christmas lights, should I have saw that coming?
So i stood up out of the sunroof while he gave me oral. Car was still moving. Exactly how illegal is that?
Foreign objects found in purse this morning include: chocolate covered pretzels, pepper spray, and farm animal shaped key chains (you know the ones you squeeze and fake poop comes out, yea those)
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