they say celebs die in threes. leave it to billy mays to throw in one extra COMPLETELY FREE!
I think we should see other people.
Already working on it.
he was so nervous about his first time.. it was like michael j. fox trying to put on a condom...
I shagged another guy with one ball last night. Are there really that many dudes with one nut in la or am I just a magnet for prostetic testes?
Just saw a woman walking a golden retriever and a vacuum down the road. I miss downtown.
While you were in the ER we decided to tailgate in the parking lot until security told us that's not allowed.
He was going down on me as I discovered a spaghetti-O on my boob. Its been a while since I faked it.
She just asked me if I was looser "in the vagina" than her. While gyrating.
You would be too ashamed to ever love me again if you saw the filth I just created. It brings unspeakable dishonor to the nacho dynasty. Like I raped the king's daughter, cut off her hands and made him eat them that's how hard I fucked up nachos.
apparently putting your t-shirt on your head with a bottle of captain and telling girls your the pirate king of tallahassee doesn't work
also dude totally apologize for the whole drunken "want something in my mouth" text
Okay. So I've done lines off a bible. But that's just for the sake of being cliché.
I found the guy I hooked up with last night on Wikipedia, at least now I know how old he is.
I just watched my high school guidance counselor pee in the backyard of this party.
Did I tell you about the swingers? Because I think they're trying to trap me.
Randomize
