this party is like a fast-foward into the future when im 40 and married with children
I apparently took a 45 minute shower, and became best friends with his mom.
So, during a 20 minute shower I spent 19 minutes spinning in circles and 1 minute licking the wall, and it was better than sex. I can't wait to do X again.
was his dick as big as our hopes and dreams?
no more duck duck goose at the bar
Time to do stuff I know I'll have to hide from my grandkids one day and everyone at next weekends wedding.
Another day, another engagement, another cat
Dude. The amount of love and appreciation from a house full of stoners when you come home at 4 am with donuts is overwhelming. The kind of love to make Jesus have to work a little harder at his unconditional love thing.
Packing a mid day bowl in the Sonic parking lot. Have I gone too stoner?
When we were done he got down next to the bed and I thought he was Tebowing. He was hitting a bong that he had already loaded and hidden under the bed.
Basically taped my dick down because it's too obvious in this costume...
you got drunk, told him he looked like shaggy and said 'I wouldn't show you my mystery machine for all the scooby snacks in the world'
I should stop using "Braveheart would do it" as a basis for decision making...
He wore a t-shirt that had an arrow pointing to his crotch and "DO IT FOR THE VINE" on it.
At least he's honest about how long he'll last.
THIS IS WHAT CELL PHONES ARE FOR! So you can tell me that you're bringing your coworker who lives in the "Halleleuia community" home for a beer SO I'M NOT DRESSED IN LEATHER LINGERIE WHEN HE WALKS IN THE FUCKING DOOR!!
Randomize
