it's like there's an entire ecosystem in your vagina.
i found you on the dancefloor with your cell phone to your ear saying that you didn't like the music they played at the club so you were going to listen to your own
They had an entire room dedicated to passed out people. It was like a dogpile of cross faded toddlers drooling on each other.
You were wasted and fell in a pond when you met him, it's not like you were on top of your game
He just kept screaming "I have democratic immunity" as the cops dragged him into the car.
No. Her boobs are the one spot of warmth in my life right now and I will not let you take them from me.
It was that same situation where "cuddling on the floor" was actually just code for "rough shameful hate sex" hahaha.
his name is devion and he has a voice like velvet and handcuffs
I forgot to tell you, the medics put you in a wheel chair. ( I kept telling you to cat daddy) oh you also gave everyone high fives for speaking English.
I just don't fit in here. The other wives are ten years older and have kids!
Well, you chose trophy wife of a 35 year old over college. Sit in your suburban soup and stew.
He simply fell in the fire, rolled out and continued to finish his bottle of vodka. Everyone else instantly sobered up just watching it.
Talk about an dramatic entrance, girl rolled up on a stolen bike and was wearing heels and a dress, through it on the ground and said "you guys want a bike?" Of course i jumped on that shit, any sane person would!
GOT MY PERIOD AND AN INTERNSHIP OFFER THIS IS A WONDERFUL DAY
Look, you don't know disfunction until you've sat on the john taking a shit and crying while totally sober.
I’m literally naked drinking a beer and I gotta leave in 6 minutes for work lol
Randomize
