I just dry heaved the smell of jagerbombs....which proceeded to make me hurl for real.
you'd think he'd be slightly more humble with a penis that small
Thats about the time I should have known you would run around naked and try to make out with my sleeping mother
Looks like I will be paying for the roofie I slipped myself in 9 months.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just realized the hot girl at the office got a boob job over the Holiday.....she is now super-hot girl.
the boys lacrosse roster just went up... now we can see who we had sex with
It's amazing how many friends she makes simply by carrying that flask of whiskey everywhere she goes.
You poured your drink on yourself and then said "it's not a party until I'm wet"
dude. this chick is staring at me like i gave her brother herpes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
where are you?
talk to ya later, gotta sled down these stairs real quick
I was telling my friend about your penis and the only word I could think of was voluptuous. You have a voluptuous dick.
Sex was great. Left his house while he was asleep but on the plus side I was able to get gas station food.
I need a hoe opinion
go on
Last night a drunk chick tried to lick me. If you are trying to lick the zombies, you are too drunk for the haunted house.
Can I just swipe right on his dad?
Randomize