I'm at a Mexican Walmart. Wish you were here.
I had a dream last night that Anthony Bourdain gave me a vibrator.
she was bad bro. like...id rather put my dick in a blender. twice.
he screamed my twitter name while we were having sex.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i can't, i'm blowing bubbles in class and getting credit for it
I've never watched DWTS before, but this show's got Pamela Anderson, Erin Andrews and Brooke Burke: 3 of my top 10 all time most masturbated to women.
So you have no knowledge as to why I am hearing loud repetitive mooing from next door?
Please don't drown this weekend. It would be a shame to lose a dick like yours.
And there might be a gallon of sangria without the lid on the floor in your room. Just be careful when you open the door.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Like I've never seen her that drunk. She's usually like quiet and doesn't say she'll fuck someone on a futon
So it turns out that my mom and her dad used to hook up when they were our age
Never been so glad that I look so much like my dad that there's no question as to my paternity
I had to talk to the cops at my front door in a bathrobe, with the buttplug still in.
I was carrying around a bottle of Jameson yelling rescue me
No I did not just post a Craigslist ad for a used stripper pole because I can't afford my own. But now that you put the idea in my head I might have to.
I woke up in the bathroom clutching a stuffed shark. My night was fantastic, thanks for asking.
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