What kind of friend are you? You don't even blackout anymore.
Bad idea. College students cannot afford both alcohol and a cat. Unless said cat is irish, and can feed itself with fifths of whisky.
Thank GOD those kids were having a lemonade stand, I didn't have anything to wash down my plan b with.
So i was told that i peed in the sink, had sex with a pillow and banged on a washer while singing idian chants
The guy in the next stall screamed courtesy flush and then puked. Bless you Vegas
so why was i the only one who woke up with ham stuck to my ass?
Just because Aaron is a gender neutral name does not mean I am letting you name your baby after a drug dealer
We've reached the point in our fuck buddy relationship where we are playing words with friends. This is too intimate.
Dude id rather jerk off w a fist full of bee's than deal with that girl that never stops talking.
I picked up the bartender so he could open the bar early and ended up with him giving me a ride home when he closed. I like snowdays and everything, but they get really expensive. Also, I think I threw up on his front door. Not checking.
I told her I wanted to use him as a chew toy while simultaneously licking his face.
Did she tell him? And if so, was he cool with it? If yes, date him, date the fuck outta him.
So I got this new job… ever been fucked in a corner office before?
I vaguely remember losing my underwear to 2 chicks in a bathroom. That drunk.
Should I tell him how he got the bruise on his ass or just enjoy his theories?
I mean, I've had her boob in my mouth, but is that romance?
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