No one appreciates an amoeba in a balloon hat.
he spent the whole night trying to convince me into a2m. i won't even use the pb til i clean the jelly knife. i love him but it's not going to happen.
So how gross is it that Woopie Goldberg has a vagina? She's like the exact opposite of a boner....
we had to stop you from eating moldy cake.. twice.
oh my god. were standing in the kitchen and were chanting "EYEBROWS" and shaving peoples eyebrows. I have work tomorrow and want to keep my eyebrows.
No, I googled it. Apparently, male thongs are the next snuggy and a lot of guys love wearing them for the support.
Law school has no idea what kind of prospect they have coming in. I just convinced a cop not to take me to jail by asking him if he really felt like cleaning puke out of his car tonight.
I did the walk of shame in nothing but a sleeping bag and now I'm on my way to pick up plan B. Let's not make a habit of this.
Sounds like a good New Years
I told him his only options were from behind or me on top. I was not about to mess up my $80 blow out before graduation.
But yesterday I literally met half his family buzzed wearing a cheeta print bathing suit super short shorts and a tiny tank top.. I was like awesome
This is stupid. I am not getting knocked up from fucking in his backseat behind a starbucks. I refuse.
No. You're getting a Viking funeral and I'm pawning your shit.
Don't put me in that position. I am not qualified to be the responsible adult here.
I can't believe it is only 1:30...I may have to stab myself with scissors for an excuse to go home...
I think I had Hypothermia but was too drunk to notice.
Randomize
