sometimes when you bring the thunder you get lost in the storm
we are at a mexican restaurant and the tv is playing mexican porn. dad won't stop watching.
now i know why i became what i already was.
just apologized to a random stranger while waiting in line for coffee. last night was that drunk
Well you are. Awfully cute even. Like baby bunnies. And tiny, tiny penises. You know.
In your defense, I really thought capturing that alligator would have been a lot more awesome and a lot less tragic.
RIP Mr Bojangles.
put me on a leash or i'm going to fuck someone
Embrace your curves. Cuz we're too poor for a coke habit.
How dare you question the sanctity of Chocolate-and-Porn day
Never drinking again. Maybe, if our boss gave us more 3-day weekends we would know how to handle ourselves. That was a shit show.
I fucked him while wearing his hat. I love the navy
I only spent $42 at the bar last night, it's some sort of miracle.
you do remember it was dollar beer night, right?
That answers my next five questions
Stop letting me drink while doing my makeup. I think I used sharpie for eyeliner.
Who did he bring home?
Idk. But did you see her shoe choice by the stairs, I'm really not expecting anything great.
i have to pee so bad and he is sleeping and idk where the bathroom or my clothes are!!!
Randomize
