I will fuck a handful of worms if you hold them
We need to rekindle our bromance
A small cock is a small cock, don't blame the size of my hands
My third nipple is alarmingly under-appreciated.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apparently I kept telling people I was a pro tennis player again...
then he compared my vagina to a dishwasher. A DISHWASHER?!
Weer fine. went to buiy cigxs, but hes theonly one waering shoes. He caem out wti chicke fingers instead. whatecer, there th 8 dollar kind.
Hey I'm not sure why your jacket's covered in maple syrup but I just realized you didn't leave the house earlier wearing a jacket...
Aside from the possibility of pregnancy, I'm going to call last night a raging success.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's the 3rd day of the year and I've already sucked two dicks. New year same ole me.
Help me help you realize you are a moron
the only things my left hand does: catch/hold things and masturbation.
I feel like I might be the only person I know who eats bundles of radishes in-between orgasms from their vibrator.
easy for you to say. you're not the one who has to explain why you woke up with a pineapple and a used condom.
That bitch claimed that you said it was ok if she drank your vodka. Obviously she has never met you
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