Why don't you ever send me any naked pics
i'm returning your mother's day gift to finance my alcoholism over the next week.
just saw bouncers outside a coffee shop. beginning to question humanity.
im gonna put my furry chinchilla vagina on her mother effing nose
i'm not sure if i'm mentally prepared for this.. politeness? proper grammar? book reader ? this is a whole new meaning of the species penis for me.
bringing a ziploc bag full of Jim Beam to the movies may not have been the best idea.
For a limited time only, free special muffin with the referral of a loyal dro customer! Have it for breakfast and be happy off your ass all day! Guaranteed! New member must buy at least an eighth. Oh and O's are on sale for 280.
You. Win. At. Life.
Not sure why, but I was running back and forth across the road. Cab hit me and gave us a free ride home.
you were drunkenly making out with a 20-something in front of your wife. at least the guy your wife left with was decent looking.
So after taking my shirt off, he pulls my bra off like a hockey jersey. FUCKIN PRO. Guy knew what he wanted.
I might go to an NA meeting just to fuck that boy in the bathroom.
He left a full handprint on my ass. He called it a "five-star review."
he woke up this morning, drunk as fuck, butt ass naked, and he had left grandmas gun on the counter and doesn't know why.
MY MOM WALKED IN WHILE I WAS EATING THEM OUT AND STARTED ASKING US ABOUT THE PROJECT RUNWAY EPISODE WE WERE WATCHING EARLIER
i'm not sure what you are doing right now, but i know that i don't like it. whatever you are doing. just stop. come here so we can fuck
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