So I just did the walk of shame at dunkin... A lady told me me I was really dressed up and I told her I was going to a luncheon.
Seriously. Destroy her vagina. Do it like an angry baboon mating with a gentle manatee.
If letting him bang me while i'm wearing reindeer antlers and a painted red nose isn't the christmas spirit, I dont know what is
He hid IN a snowbank for 2 hours waiting for me to come home. This game has to stop before someone dies.
This is absurd. I need a man. Or even a moderately-clean hobo will do at this point.
totally worth getting kicked out for trying to throw my drink on lindsay lohans ankle bracelet.
But first time having sex and he went down on me twice?! I'm gonna marry this guy
I'll make sure to include that in my bridesmaid toast
He's going to be my graduation present to myself.
I sat on my couch last night watching What Women Want, eating ice cream, and sobbing "why doesn't she like me?" Why was I born a man?
Last thing I remember is whiskey shots. My roommate tells me we were there 15min before I decided to run home naked. And we live across from a police station.
Last night I somehow got INCREDIBLY wasted & thought it was a good idea to make a group chat with all the guys I'm hooking up with and just say "bye." soo I'm hiding out till next week.
I'm nothing if not determined to sleep with everyone at that company
the guy next to you kind of looks like a penguin. i'm going to fuck him
I mean, I let him sleep with me after we both ate taco bell sober... That's kinda like love, right?
Well the cops were called after the kid fell, but we saw 4 cute guys from our window while it was going down, so it wasn't all that bad.
Randomize
