Call it a failed empirical study as to whether drugs would make her more interesting. or at least better in bed.
Dude, just discovered frito and mozzarella nachos. Don't say I never contributed anything to this world.
For some reason, my father is not responding to the 5 texts I sent him that all read: "Dad dad dad dad dad dddaadd dddddaaaaaaaaad dad".
What do you want me to say to her? "Oh hey, I need to borrow your soon to be husband to make a porn, cool?"
Her mom is home on her lunch break. Guess who's hiding In the Closet?
Oh you know..Chillin with your dad.
With a fannypack full of drugs.
you and him went to the park at 2am to "catch a pigeon" and ACTUALLY CAME BACK WITH A PIGEON
The cops just came to this party I'm at and ate all of our snacks
Dude just crushed our bbq lays and told us to quiet down
I feel like you're the reason public nudity is illegal and generally frowned upon in society
I'm now using my vagina for good, not evil. Trying to restore balance to the force.
I just paid $10 for tinder plus so that I could change my location to Rio and match with Olympic Athletes
What the hell happened to the sandwich meat I just bought?
After you smoked, you made 8 ham sandwiches.
Guess that explains the mysterious disappearance of the bread...
I just realized I'm having shark week, during shark week.
So far 2 of my professors caught me looking at their dicks
Fruitcakes are only good for throwing at neo Nazis.
Randomize
