I think this dress is screaming I want a birthday 3some with two moderately attractive guys. I hope.
And as you crawled into the bathroom last night you repeatedly said "I know the routine".
I just got a standing ovation when i made it to work on New Years Day. good thing?
we'll go far in life on tits alone.
We pinky-swore to never fuck each other again.
throwing up in the shower isnt as glamorous as i expected
since when the fuck is that glamorous?
And here i was gonna offer you a complimentary blowjob.
Just wrestled a cop. He won my shorts. I won my freedom. In fishnets and army boots. still headed to the party. would appreciate pants, but not necessary.
New drinking game. Every time Romney and Santorum switch leads, take a shot.
....this is what your political science major is getting you?
Dad had me doing shots of chocolate mint Everclear last night. I've never felt closer to him.
smoked some of that legal weed last night, felt like God himself legit bent me over his knee and spanked my ass. Never again..never.
So, I'm about to take my pants off in the Walmart parking lot, when am old lady parks next to me. I'm all the way in the back next to the semis. What the hell?
Mom is so high she had to turn off the ceiling fan because it was going too fast and it freaked her out.
I was really excited when I saw a billboard for neverbethirsty.org this morning. Then I realized it was for a church.
Yeah I knew you'd like him. He's emotionally and physically self destructive.
We would have so much to talk about!
Randomize
