3.50 mugs at the bar.
Nah man, im with an ugly chick. Im waiting til everyone's drunk enough tonight, they don't notice.
How ugly, and does she have friends?
I was worried if he didn't show me his penis, he would kill himself
you yelled then hung up at the girl on information bc she could not pinpoint your location and tell you how to get to dennys
unrelatedly i think im gonna download boogie nights just to see mark wahlberg's penis
you're letting him buy you a plane ticket...to kentucky...so you can fuck him?
i know. i'm only adding to the interstate sex trade problem.
I vote intervention dinner around 6, make up movie around 7:30ish, then apology drinks all night. Then hangover waffle house in the morning.
apparently it was the return of drunk burrito sex.
Girl walking by was talking on the phone about how he needed to write a gratitude list in her letter to god this week. Too stoned
The two of us decided to throw a spur-of-the-moment parade and the next thing I know we're 4 miles down the road being followed by 65 drunk strangers
I THINK it was the lead singer. Whoever he was, I have his number and his dick was pierced.
It was totally the lead singer.
This is the fifth time tonight that girl has taken off my pants. Take me home. Now.
This is random but I just wanted to thank you for all the things you taught me sexually in life.
I just found a baklava I forgot I got last night so we can call it a day
I woke up on the damn lawn again...it's not even summer yet
I don't think you understand I turned down McDonalds for you.
Randomize
