do you think it i'm gay because i was in a 3 way lastnight?
well not if you dont touch the other dude and concentrate on the chic
what chic?
My lunch today consisted of going on the brewery tour with my boss. Free pretzels and two free beers.
I hate you.
To be fair, the beers are only 8 ounces each. So maybe you just kinda dislike me.
he had to chose between the booze and condoms
what did he choose?
the booze, then looked at me and said, plan b is free right?
Who was that guy you went home with?
Hang on, I'm trying to ask his name right now.
The view from the bathroom floor this morning is fabulous
It's a long way off yet but I've started planning my eviction party. Be prepared, it includes jungle juice.
She just spat tequila at me... Like a fountain... A broken fountain
Best feedback on my performance so far: "There are things that can't be unseen."
This question may sound intrusive, but how did pushing out a baby affect your vagina?
In related news... Actually, nope. I don't have any orgy-related news. You win.
And the cops are back. At least my pants are on this time
Can I just text her like "yo sorry I fucked your boyfriend, let's go get sushi" or like nah
Can we both just take a day off just to have sex? Is that acceptable as an adult?
Yes. I'm realizing that sports games are good reasons to drink. I just cheer when everyone else cheers.
I was taking this cougar home in the middle of the night I walked across the hall all naked to take a piss and ran into to some chick from highschool she said no way you are fucking my mom ran into her moms room and started yelling at her
Randomize
