I wish costco sold astroglide.
i wish my brain was less awake, and didn't try and picture what you were talking about.
Well, ive pounded a baby into a stripper and a girl who was on jerry springer, a 16 year old is logically next.
Wearing the BK Crown on the throne while dropping the kids off at the pool? Yes, one of my life's goals. Win
Because you know it would be fucking amazing to get trashed and shatter the dreams of 12 year old girls. I might get a shirt.
My vagina supports interfraternal relations
Ur dog was like a damn middle school chaperone this morning trying to lay between us after what he saw us do last night
It was the best of bangs; it was the worst of bangs.
My last google search is "how to build a flamethrower"
So Bodhi just sent me a pic of someone's balls with a message that says "I hope you all have a ballin' night." I don't even know what level of friendship to call this anymore.
Oh my god.
The ballsiest level.
Friends don't brand friends with cigars. It's not how it works.
I feel like I could have been bitchier and missed an opportunity.
I got outsmarted by a door tonight. Twice.
He is completely naked, curled in a ball, and rocking back and forth in the shower humming lullabies to himself. This is your responsibility since I'm going to be fucking someone in 5.7 seconds.
I think the night went to shit after he started sweating and crying about a taco he dropped on the ground 3 years ago. No more blind dates
I literally blew him under my face mask. Not because I thought it'd protect me from COVID, but because I wanted to prove to myself that I could.
Randomize
