I either just heard my neighbors having sex or she really agreed with whatever he was talking about.
I am going to be the most sexually active ladybug that he has ever seen
if pee wee herman would have taken a snuggie to the movies he wouldnt have gotten caught
it was one of those movies netflix should have sent weed with
Hhahaha he is. Omg the new polish friend just took his pants off in front of me. There is something wrong with this nationality.
The kid in the park, who was on a leash I might add, looked at us and yelled "stranger danger" before hiding behind his dad
I have the slightest memory of swinging a bag full of condoms over my head...
It was darkish out, I was shit faced, and they should have marked the electric fence a little more clearly. The entire wedding reception saw me run full force into it
My dick looks like crazy bread
pics are now mandatory
Ted is on HBO in 20 minutes...not sure if this or the drunken dance party I had at the bar to a N*SYNC Christmas song 20 minutes ago is the highlight of my week so far.
I slept naked last night on stolen pillows. I felt like a golden goddess.
I give out orgasms like candy and ride a motorcycle...how is that not appealing
my birth father cheated on his wife with my birth mother. it's literally in my blood to be a home wrecker.
Do you ever just admire your boobs?
Guess who cheated on their SATs? Also on the same line guess who's getting in to Princeton at damn near free of charge?
Randomize
