My mom just drunkenly told me i was conceived in the back of a car, at a Bon Jovi concert.
we were exchanging secrets last night... she told me about how she put markers in her vaj in middle school. found a keeper.
i wish i was a boy too so i knew what a blow job felt like
I bought a zebra print bikini, I'm gonna be honest here- if he doesn't want to have sex with me in this, he's gay.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Guy in our group took down a chick in a wheelchair last night.
Maybe it's cuz you slapped him with a pancake last night
Like it was the Mama Mia of shit shows. That bad.
Do you know of any good hiding spots in the Atlanta area?
So this is what you do on your hungover days off put your balls into an egg carton?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yelling at the starbucks lady to write Beyoncé on my cup
I'm eating hummus off of my stomach right now.
I'm pretty sure I just orgasmned my way out of paying for that weed
Hey did you take a shower last night at like 4am?
"ummm...." (Thinking in my head) wet towel, soaking wet hair, clean pjs on backwards... "that would make more sense then what I thought happened..."
Everyone has seen your nipples. It's like asking if they ever walked on grass. You need better hangover questions.
really enjoying the fact I don't remember how the staff party ended. feel like I need to shame drink today
feel at noon?
Randomize