chick flicks and taylor swift songs are like porn for desperate singles
judging by the cake all over the hall, my neighbors had a pretty successful thursday too.
your mom just called me and asked me why i'm not in jail with you right now.
You know when the three of us hug it out in the alcohol isle in walmart it's gonna be fun.
I HAVE stop dating guys for their prescriptions, you have no idea how awkward family dinner was. Thank god for his xanax.
He's coming back with me for the week. It took me saying "I don't wanna drive myself home... I'm better as a passenger giving road head" for him to jump at it. Rack another one up for my magical openings.
I've never heard of anyone celebrating the holidays with a fuck buddies family before.
....I'll be expecting my trophy when I return.
it wasn't sex so much as.....a disastrously uncomfortable sexual experience
I just want dates and sex but the option to have that with whoever whenever I want
His new place is a molesden. Like a hole in the ground. It's frightening how oddly private it is.
It rubs the lotion on it's foreskin...
Well I woke up at my house so that's a plus. But I'm pretty sure I peed on my sofa because I woke up in the pee position.
We're snowed in with only two condoms. This will literally be valentines day russian roullette.
I'm trimming my pubes right now and the battery was wearing down. So I chose to only trim one side. I cut the right side down and now I look like pubic two-face. Right all trim and near and left like a caveman.
Stop leaving buckets of wine at my house.
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
Randomize
