Woke up this morning at my parent's house. No idea how I got here... what happened last night? Was it bad?
We using my standards or yours?
Bleh. If he hadn't ascended into heaven and sat at the right hand of the father, Jesus would be rolling over in his grave right now.
I'M GETTING MARRIED!
YOU'RE STILL MARRIED!
Can you tell me why I have pubes stuck in my teeth?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have seen more male genitalia at this party tonight than I ever want to see again in my entire life.
You suck. You're fired. I need to find a less reasonable voice-of-reason.
I sang Jenna happy bday in the middle of throw up hurls
she's just been through a whole lot lately. When the crazy starts leaking out we give her vodka and lock her in the room with all the pillows.
so that's what that room is for...
bartering with my concussed boyfriend to eat food with blowjobs
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My greatest achievement in life thus far is being the go to friend when you have questions about butt plugs.
Drunk assassins creed leads to explaining to my father that "it was only a steak knife in the arm"
Anytime he goes down on me i automatically think of you cheering me on. Your a good friend.
Can I get my morals surgically removed?
We were fucking in the bedroom then we heard Sports center on in the living room. He stopped midfuck when I started celebrating that my team won over his
I just caught your son trying to perform fellatio on himself. What do I do?
Randomize