can you sing with all the voices of the mountain? can you paint with al the colors of the windddd
wasted?
im pocohantasssss
69 is so not fun when his penis is sporting a 70s hairstyle
You were playing beer pong by yourself. Finally someone took the ball and threw it into the bonfire. You sat by it, cried, and contemplated how to get it out. For 45 minutes.
I'm pregaming before our pregaming dinner...with peanut butter and beer. I think I need to re-evaluate my budget...
Just the budget?
did we decide the 'sorry about the threesome' cake was too flippant?
I wanna get "leaving my dick in charge" drunk.
Did you get an erection too during Paul Ryan's speech?
He asked me what I wanted the cake to say and I then asked him if "I'm sorry for throwing up in your bed last night" was too long. He said it was...
Fun fact: drinking me now steals weaponry
I mean I'm screaming I love the gays in the middle of Bart so yeah
You’re about to have a sober threesome with a rando at a Fenway bar?
I am sweating Crown. It all went wrong when the ratio hit 50-50
Kay so its 9 am whose dumbass is gunna act sober to buy pizza rolls
Dude you promised
Also: I hate her so much. She's out at hooters, making spelling errors, while I'm literally sitting at a clinic getting std tested. Which of us won the morality award in this break up.
Yeah well I fucked my ex on a sink last night soooo booty calls for us all
Randomize
