im gay
i know
yea but for you.
Breakfast of vicodin and eggs out of a solo cup at about three in the afternoon on a wednesday...I have my life together
I've officially moved beyond college drinking. I just got business drunk at an internship seminar.
you went all the way to UK and still managed to hook up with someone from our highschool...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I left two shots of jager for you guys when you wake up from your death. Do with it as you wish
Make sure you take the apple pie out of your pocket before you pass out.
I know. You don't know poor life choice until your sitting on the floor of a community bathroom waiting to vomit at 4 am
Convinced lucas all the eggs in the fridge are fertilized and now he's crying.
My dad just asked Siri to "help me find my daughters dignity."
If you were my daughter, I'd do the same thing.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I would like to request a high five for getting laid while wearing crocs and a crab hat.
They tried to dine n dash at dennys and the waiter jumped on their car and broke their windshield
I woke up with the gnarliest cold/hangover combo
Thats what u get when u have butt ass naked rooftop sex at night in december
Worth it.
Speaking of which.. there's underwear in my backseat and Arby's cheese sauce on my door handle. So much for my new Volvo bringing out my classy side.
Coffee's working. Just killed a fly with my bare hands.\nFuck with me.
My theme for the night was drink diego drink! Unfortunately Dora was not there to navigate me to the bathroom
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