shes still asleep dad put a lobster in her bathroom
Three of the best words ever! Cocaine. Research. Study.
can you call in chlamydia to work? like if the antibiotics they gave you for it are giving you the shits...
Every single time I start thinking that we shouldn't have done that to him, I think of his ballsack in our passed out faces. No sympathy.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Im at target. Idk why I'm buying condoms AND a tutu for my cat. No one who dresses their cat up has ever gotten laid.
It was a karaoke bar combined with a liquor store and had a donkey pen in the back.
Keeping it classy as usual I see
it went ok. then he slept in a parking lot and took me out for a picnic the next day. boys are confusing.
Just to warn you I probably wont be able to do anything that involves standing up
It's snowing in May and there was a law school party at the strip club. The end is near.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He told me the hickey on the side if his neck was actually a "bruise" from hitting a bird on his motorcycle. I'm not sure what's more impressive, the fact people believed him due to the size of the mark or the fact you gave it to him.
He drinks vodka like healthy people drink water and I wanted to have his adopted gay babies. That's all. I'm going to go find him and potentially propose.
i am craving dick and cupcakes
it's like my ID runs away from me when it knows it's time for me to drink
He said he’s shouting let’s get this bread the first time we have sex...
He’s very straightforward
After 25 beers and 3 shots my best friend thought it would be an amazing idea to get his dick pierced. We are on our way.
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