she just sneezed while going down on me. is it rude for me to ask her to do it again?
if i had a dollar for every time ive had to piece a night together like they did in "the hangover", i bet i could outsell their weekend box office earnings...
I think you should know he took my pants (buttons and zippers included) and my thong off with his mouth alone. I found my husband
someone shit in a solo cup and left it at the base of the stairs. fuck orlando dude.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
why didn't we just drop out of school years ago and become dominatrix bitches who beat men?
I don't know but we should still do that
two more shots til everyone in this club gets to see my cesarean scars.
i study at coffee shops because all these damn artsy people motivate me to work towards a real job.
My vagina just recognized that song.
I legitimately woke up with a girl trying to snort cocaine off my dick.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Drank a fosters this weekend and last weekend. Listening to down under 5 times a day. Spent 100 dollars on a sleeveless men at work shirt circa 1983. We don't leave for another 5 weeks. I call it pregaming.
I stole all of the toasting champagne and did an interpretive dance to "wind beneath my wings". I am literally everything you're not supposed to do at weddings.
But your showmanship is impeccable.
Truth be told it's significantly easier to get over someone when they file a police report on you
you should probably call the Bronx Zoo in the morning to formally apologize
its the right thing to do
I literally forgot every French word I knew and blurted out “mange moi” so he went down on me like I was some baguette fresh outta the oven!!!! I passed out.
Look, I know why you're asking me, but just because I'm gay does not make me a wiki on butt sex. Ask a doctor or you know, the internet like everyone else.
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