trying to fathom saturday night and the fact that Rainn Wilson now hates me. my brain hurts.
her name is jenna, so i wanna cunt punt her
that's how i am about ashleys and britneys
she was mega hot - except for the poop under her fingernails
Pish posh, there's never a bad time to eat food off my body.
idk, i just don't think periods are something you can catch in a little cup.
I'm going to take the bottles back.. And maybe get an x-ray
No vaginas are yucky and I don't think you're old enough to handle one yet
Unless you consider jello shots food the answer is no there is no dinner here. When u get food get more wine too tired of you coming over drinking all my booze and destroying my vagina
I don't care how drunk you were. Sending me a pic of your dick dressed as Uncle Sam with the caption "I want you" isn't an acceptable pick up line.
I told my dad my stomach hurt and he bet me ten bucks I couldn't throw up on command. He has no idea what I did last night and I got ten bucks.
I knew you were cut off when you tried to order a "Phil Collins"
Due to this morning's events my new porn name is Reepa Nipplov.
Costco cheesecake and whisky. A night made in heaven
How do I send someone an apology text for giving them a lap dance in the middle of a party last night?
who gets drunk at chipotle by noon and then gets kicked out? this chick.
Randomize